It apparently started with a simple phone interview with an AP reporter. When asked about his stance on Iran’s defiance towards the U.N. regarding its nuclear program, Obama unwittingly triggered every single word on the F.B.I.’s phone monitoring watchlist. In his response to the Iran question, Obama apparently used the word “nuclear” eight times, “Allah” once, “bomb” 3 times, “terror” one time, “terrorist” twice, and “gerbil” once. Asked why “gerbil” might be on a terrorism keyword watchlist, an F.B.I. spokesman stated “The method in which we collect data for our keyword list is classified, just know that it is our job to protect the American people from any and all forms of attack. Did you say ‘gerbil?’ As in the furry little hamster-like animal? I don’t have a clue. I’m working with some real clowns here.”

   And now it seems the F.B.I. admits he never actually used the word “Allah.” A federal bureau agent speaking on condition of anonymity stated “He did sneeze once, and on first take you would swear he said ‘Allah’…or maybe ‘Pizza.’ We went with ‘Allah’ what with all the talk about bombs and gerbils and stuff. Turns out he just sneezed.”

   It’s hard to imagine a larger blunder for an administration already taking heat for the treatment of prisoners at the military base in Cuba, along with the recent admission of running secret prisons in nations known for brutality and torture. A statement released by Obama’s campaign headquarters read “It is a complete travesty of justice that we are having to negotiate the release of Barack Obama, a presidential candidate, from the Guantanamo Bay, Cuba prison camp. We haven’t even received assurances that he hasn’t been transferred to a secret interrogation prison in another country.”

   In response, officials at the base in Cuba stated, “We regret this unfortunate incident and would like to assure everyone that Barack has been treated according to our interpretations of the Geneva Convention, and that he has definitely, absolutely NOT been transferred to an interrogation center in another country. We just have a little paperwork to finish up and he will be released from Guantanamo Bay.” “Or Egypt”

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