Ellsinore, MO - More than half a century removed from her heyday as the town mattress, Beatrice Wofford says she has no regrets for allowing more than the occasional travelling salesman, migrant farm-worker or railroad employee to “take a ride on the Bea-Train”. As she slowly tilts her head back and closes her eyes, […]
Already injecting itself into recent sports scandals such as the MLB steroids drama, the New England Patriots’ spygate, and most recently the Roger Clemons circus show, The United States Congress is now devoting its full attention to the Harlem Globetrotters. Why? It seems that the Globetrotters’ gaudy win/loss record over the past 20 years has casted doubt among […]
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It wasn’t what anyone said to him, or the fact that he apparently got a pretty nasty sunburn that afternoon. It was what he saw when he stepped out of his “krunked Benz” at the gathering. White people. Lots of them.
A relative at the reunion, speaking on condition of anonymity, said that for […]
At a recent appearance at the National Institutes Of Health, a reporter’s question seemed to touch a nerve with the President. When asked if his low approval rating was a mandate for change regarding his policy in Iraq, Bush gave the reporter a lecture on math.
“Look,” said Bush, “America is a big country […]
With the upcoming season fast approaching, Michael Vick tells NationalSquib that he is ready to put all the off-season troubles behind him and make a run at a title.
Apparently dedication is not an issue. While most dog fighting rings don’t start their preseason preparations until early August, Vick and his teammates at Bad Newz […]
Now that she has a reason to be proud of America for the first time in her life, accounts from her friends and neighbors as the 4th of July approaches paint Michelle Obama as a giddy teenager getting ready for her first school dance. “I’ve never seen her like this before,” stated neighbor Madelyn Crownover, “Usually […]
The New York Daily News recently reported that Viagra has become the performance enhancer of choice among athletes worldwide. Hailed for it’s ability to dialate blood vessels, Viagra helps deliver oxygen, nutrients and performance-enhancing drugs to muscles more efficiently.
In related news, a new American pole vault record was set Sunday by defending world […]
Not quite as appealing as turning water into wine, the astronauts on the international space station will soon be turning urine into drinking water. With the population of the space station scheduled to double next year to six full time residents, NASA was compelled to develop a means to avoid the costly and troublesome […]
The U.S. military acknowledged Friday that Thursday’s reports of the capture of Abu Ayyub al-Masri, the reputed leader of al Qaeda in Iraq, was a case of mistaken identity. A low level CIA operative speaking on condition of anonymity has revealed that the man US and Iraqi forces happened upon in a cafe in […]
